The Nature of Life is Love

We live in this world made up of nature, but sometimes I forget that I am part of this natural environment that was created long ago and that continues to allow the existence of life in so many forms. I find it interesting that nature is thought of as a mother and God is called our father. Together, these two concepts create the world of which we humans are a part. It takes both a body made by God and a natural way of being made by Mother Nature to make life exist, but it is the love we each create that makes it continue. Finding out how to keep our bodies alive by consuming good food with enough nutrients as well as figuring out how to exercise it in a way that it lasts is just as important as finding the love within our spirits that keeps our nature in a harmonious flow with the rest of the world.

People who do not follow their nature or look for love in it tend to lose their minds, believing that the spirit of life is evil. Thus, the body is the holder of evil. These people are the ones who kill innocent beings, for, to them, the existence of life is evil and they would prefer it to be gone. On the other hand, those of us that experience love in our lives have created it within ourselves and allow it to manifest in our experiences with others. We find love everywhere we go and in everything we do. This is the spirit in those of us who want to survive and help others survive, as well. It is the complete opposite of evil and it will always outlast it, for evil kills but love creates more life.

Take What You Want

When you know what you want, take it.  Do the things you want to do.  If you don't want to do something, stop doing it...you may want to do it again later, but let time tell.  Eat chocolate, if chocolate is what you want.  Spend money for things you want to have in your life and remember to give love to the people you want around you.  Take the job you want and accept the praise you deserve.  Your life will be empty unless you take it and make it yours.

Lose to Gain

At several times in my life, I felt that I was losing things that I thought belonged to me.  I thought that because I had obtained what I wanted temporarily, the presence of this thing would keep manifesting itself in my life and continue to make me happy.  After losing things that I thought I would have forever, however, I realized that I have to keep working to gain things but also work to keep the things I have already gained.  It is essential to progress in life in order to obtain and keep everything that makes me happy in my life and to ensure that everything I have in my life continues to make me happy.

I never want to feel like I have everything because that is the point when I will stop focusing on my "keeps" and begin noticing everything I lose.  Although I lose things all the time, working towards new gains helps me move on and stop missing the stuff that gets lost.  To me, life is about winning some of the things you want and trying not to lose the things you have already worked to win.

Gaining both vulnerability and confidence was a huge step in my life because I allowed my mind to search myself for things I have lost and to discover new things about myself.  I became okay with opening up into my thoughts and memories, even the darkest ones that I had tried to hide from my mind for years, because I was confident that I could use the things I found buried deep within my heart to help fix whatever it was that kept leading me to lose things that were important to me.  It was not until I noticed that I kept losing things, however, that I let myself be vulnerable to change and become confident in the person that had grown out of every thought, feeling, and experience I revisited.  I gained a surer sense of the things I wanted to have in my life and I decided what I needed to help me make my place in the world a good one. 

Although my dreams often seem unreachable under current circumstances, I make them that way so that I will never feel like I have gained everything.  If a day comes when all of my personal dreams have come true or I cannot seem to create a better dream for myself at that moment, I will make my dream to help others reach their dreams.  There will always be people with goals they have not reached, so there is always something to work toward in this world. 

For luscious lips:

Take a few minutes and try the "brown sugar lip scrub" to have your lips feeling smooch-able and your taste buds saying mmm.  Whether you have a special someone to impress or just want to get rid of that layer of roughness, go ahead and get those lips soft and sugary for the rest of the day!  You probably have both ingredients (brown sugar and olive oil) in your kitchen already, so what are you waiting for?  

"It Takes Courage and Character to Care"

I highly recommend this film to anyone looking for somewhere to go, something to feel, or some reason to cry.  From the story to the acting, this movie goes deep into the heart and pulls out the root of human suffering.  The plot is extremely emotional but changed my perspective on teachers, inner-city public schools, and people in desperate need who choose not to help themselves.  A truly great watch!

Breathe in, Breathe out

When my emotions get really heavy on my heart, it aches.  My eyes burst with tears and I breathe out heavily as I release my sobs and wail like a baby.  Instinctively, I breathe in again, but my heart shakes until air reaches the deepest core of my chest.  The process repeats itself until some internal force of hope tells my mind to pull my body off of the ground and look for something good, even if I must look into a mirror and stare at my eyes to see that there is goodness in the present and happiness in the future, regardless of the misery in the past that caused such a breakdown.

When I think about life as a physical experience during a very emotional moment, I realize that emotions are as natural to life as the respiratory, urinary, and digestive systems are for the body.  It is essential to listen to my body tell me what to do each and every second of the present: when to eat, when to sleep, and when to use the restroom.  However, all of these things are simple behaviors that all animals must learn in order to survive.  Humans learn best when our emotions are involved, which we are taught about as kids but do not actually learn until we experience them for ourselves.  Emotions analyze experiences from the past and determine which behaviors should be repeated based on the ones that brought about the most pleasurable outcomes.  For example, after a certain age, a kid will be made fun of and feel embarrassed if she cannot control her bladder.  Her emotional pain will teach her to change her physical behavior and hold her bladder until she can find a restroom.  Similarly, a child who receives praise from his teachers and parents on a well-done project will link positive emotions to working hard and, therefore, will likely strive to succeed in an effort to bring more pleasurable feelings into his life.  Essentially, our emotions are what teach us to survive and lead us to the things we accomplish.  So, this phenomenon referred to as life is really a mixture of the body combining with the emotions to make humans physical beings of mental creation.

Just as the body is free to breath whenever it wants, I try to be honest with my emotions because that is part of letting my spirit be free.  I love going to the edge of my emotional capacity where my mind's eye can clearly see what I am feeling and what is causing me to have these feelings.  I also have to let myself dig for things that my mind has been suppressing in order to release my entire spirit.  It is in these "emotional places" of truth and freedom that I am vulnerable—things I may not have ever thought stand out and I understand the experiences in my life.  From these findings, I create ways to make changes in my life, fix problems, and produce amazing work.

The truth about life is that there is always good and there is always bad, but they are all just part of life.  As John Mayer puts it, "You're going to have at least one moment a week where you don't feel right.  But maybe it won't feel so wrong if you know it's supposed to happen."  Sometimes one extreme seems more abundant and one seems absent.  In these emotionally heavy times, I take a moment to forget about all emotion and just focus on the bodies version of the present, which is the breath.  I can change my emotional perspective from negative to positive, renew my hope, and move my attention towards the positive pieces that make up the whole, leaving the negative pieces untouched and unnoticed, like the last slices of pie after a filling Thanksgiving dinner.

Just smile and breathe...everything is going to be alright.

Poem Inspired by Adam Sandler as Mr. Deeds

A Lesson in Measuring Worth

“Work is just a challenge,” the old man says excitedly.  And business is a pleasure.
When stocks plunge, don’t worry, because numbers only measure the height of peaks
and the length of journeys that have begun.  They inform the miles flown,
the recipes perfected, and the dates that matter.  Sizes change, prices go up, but
the most treasured matter is a life of ease.

Assumed is the promise between friends that we will always return to each other. 
We tried to plan our lives, but somebody always changes it.  I’m pretty sure
I’m not fucking it up; surprise keeps it interesting though.  Growth
in a bank account can change a man for a season, but he goes back

because Crazy Eyes and Murph miss him.  Legacy is a fossil
in the hearts we’ve changed.

Everyone has traditions, a place they are part of, faces they recognize, and ways of life
that feel comfortable.  Language differs among kinds…banter always goes—
as does praise when deserved.  Loyalty is assumed and love makes it easier. 
Energy moves us through time.  Breaking into a song that’s rolling through my head
and out my lips…everyone joins in.  

Looks on a face judge the situation more clearly than words.  People cannot lie
in numbers, just as logic, when pointed out, cannot be denied.  Arrangements depend
on attitudes, so remember how he first treated you and he will come back nicer.  
We only look for something when we want it—sometimes it is found
without trying, just listen to strangers.

The doctor will know what the lawyer won’t, but they can both save me
like a kiss after a rough day.  Which came first: the spy or the target?  I want
a respected man to be honest and help make sense of the puzzle—
putting together the present and the past to find the next piece.  Read the signs
and respond.  The heart will always lead to what we want.

The best things are shared and the best insults are true.  But truth exposed humiliates
the liars.  Suckers get pissed and the desperate become dangerous.  The real ones know
the ways.  Feelings and knowledge start and end each day—what continues
in dream worlds are impressions of the focal thoughts that clog and explode
in my mind; I only remember the good ones.

Love is forgiving of all that was, accepting of all that is, and hopeful for everything
that will be.  We know it when our beauty is free, our friendship is generous,
and our failures are funny.  Compete with cars to measure success and use karats
to quantify bliss. But pearls don’t protect and money can’t make us strong, so rely
on a wealth of love when evaluating this life. 

The Taste of Love

Taste is the feeling I get when one of my senses experiences awareness of this physical environment of which I am a part.  There are several types of taste, including food in my mouth, the taste of sound waves against my ear drums, or the glass iPhone screen that my thumbs taste.  People taste my body language and eyes taste everything, sensing each other better than anything else.  One sense of taste that I often tend to forget to pay attention to is the kind of thoughts that I make.  Although many people refuse to believe in a sixth sense and think they can only recognize or control the five original senses they learned in school, it is true that I actually create the thoughts that go through my mind, just as I choose the flavors that go into my mouth.

I often forget or confuse the taste of thoughts, however, because it is easy to experience it as an emotion or mood that I think I do not control.  I must actually use my mind to make every thought I taste.  It sounds daunting at first, but then I realized that I could use this power to control the experience I have of my life.  Just as the other senses in my body help me filter tastes and smells so I can make the enjoyable ones more abundant and avoid the unhappy ones, I can use my emotions to help my mind filter thoughts.  Essentially, I can feel amazing at anytime just by thinking of a good thought, but it is just as easy to get stuck in a cycle of producing bad thoughts and make my experience of life absolutely miserable.

While it is true that I make thoughts myself, most of the time, my mind is not conscious of the creation of them because I am more focused on my bodily sensations.  When I think of life as the making of an artistic work, however, I become very conscious of my mental taste.  I aim to please the sense of imagination just as a chef aims to please taste buds.  I know the types of sights I like, the sounds I like to hear, the touch that feels good, and the types of energy by which I like to be surrounded.  One day, that energy could be loud bass, live DJs and a crowd of 30,000 while, on others, it could be the energy of just me in my apartment with the things, music, and people with whom I prefer to interact.  So, while my physical tastes can have a profound impact on how my body feels, my mental tastes determine my emotional health.  Just as I choose to put healthy food into my body and exercise routinely in order to keep my body functioning properly, I must choose thoughts that keep my soul living happily.

The world has survived because of the love living beings create and live in with themselves and others.  It is essential to be aware that this love must be shared in order to keep the world going into the future.  Until I fully understood this, my misconceptions of love had the to ability to (and did) hurt me, for I did not know exactly what I was looking for.  I even tried to force love with someone who seemed like the definition of the person I could love.  Even after I met my love, it was not until I believed that it could exist in me without the presence of the person I felt it for.  I realized that I would not be able to forge love with anyone, and I would know the real thing when it came.  Now I know what it is to love and be loved.  It is having the taste of love in my mind and letting this taste pick up on the love of others.  I can try to explain what it is I love about another, but the best way is just to say that my sense of love matches theirs.  Our loves recognize each other and our souls want to be mates.

It is important to always keep the taste of love in my heart and also in my mind so that I will recognize real love when it is shared with me and others will always be able to taste the love I share with them.

Covering the Classics

Every time I hear this collaboration, I get goosebumps covering my body, tears in my eyes, and that want-to-dance spirit running through my veins.  I have so much respect for Aretha Franklin, her melodies, and her lyrics but Christina Aguilera, who sings the opening solo in this tribute to Aretha Franklin at the 2011 Grammy Awards, really makes this one with her incredible voice and spirit.  Please enjoy the talent of these women and come back to this anytime you need a little pick-me-up.

Here is another Christina Aguilera cover.  This time she sings James Brown's classic "It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World" at the 2007 Grammy Awards.  I absolutely love her rendition and especially what she does right after the 2:00 mark.  Everything about this performance is killer!

Desserts for 1

I live with a roommate but I cook for just myself.  When I am in the mood for something to top off my meal, I often crave something sugary.  But I struggle if there is an entire pan of brownies laying on the counter or a full recipe of cookie dough in the fridge.  I recently have been using these recipes for Coffee Cake and Chocolate Chip Cookie for 1 because they are not only quick and easy to make, but they require just a few ingredients and are the perfect amount for a sweet treat.  Once I've finished, I am not tempted to cut off one more slice because there isn't one!  These are perfect for people like me who struggle with limiting portions and who only crave dessert here and there.  I have tried both of these recipes several times and find them both to be super delicious.

Enjoy!

Coffee Cake in a Mug 

Ingredients

• 1 Tbsp butter
• 2 Tbsp sugar
• 2 Tbsp applesauce
• 3 drops vanilla extract
• 1/4 Cup all purpose flour
• 1/8 tsp baking powder
• Pinch of salt
• 1 Tbsp butter
• 2 Tbsp flour
• 1 Tbsp brown sugar
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon

Instructions

1. In a mug soften 1 tbsp of butter in microwave, about 5 seconds. You don’t want it melted, just soft. Stir in 2 tbsp of sugar and mix until well incorporated. Stir in applesauce, vanilla (just a tiny bit, we’re talking drops), flour, baking powder, and pinch of salt; stirring until just combined. Use the back of your spoon to smooth it out in the bottom of the mug.
2. Want struesel? Of course you do! In a separate, small bowl, combine 1 tbsp of butter, 2 tbsp of flour, 1 tbsp of brown sugar, and 1/4 tsp cinnamon. Use your fingers to to pinch the butter and mix it in with the other ingredients. When it starts to look like lumpy sand (appetizing, eh?) and all ingredients are combined, pour on top of cake batter in mug.
3. Cook in the microwave for 50-80 seconds depending on your microwave. At 1 minute, my microwave cooks it perfectly. It will look just barely set on top. You don’t want to overcook it and things tend to get ugly fast in the microwave. I suggest cooking it 50 seconds, and then in 10 second intervals checking after each interval until done. Eat white it’s still warm. Once it cools off, it tends to loose some of it’s magic!

created by Heather Likes Food

http://www.heatherlikesfood.com/2-minute-coffee-cake-in-a-mug/

Chocolate Chip Cookie in a Cup

Ingredients

• 1 Tbsp butter
• 1 Tbsp granulated white sugar
• 1 Tbsp firmly packed dark brown sugar
• 3 drops vanilla extract
• Pinch of Kosher salt
• 1 egg yolk (discard egg white)
• 1/4 Cup all purpose flour
• 2 Tbsp of semi sweet chocolate chips

Instructions 

Start by melting your butter in the microwave. Add sugars, vanilla and salt. Stir to combine. Separate your egg and add the yolk only to your cup. Stir to combine. Add flour, then stir again. Add the chocolate chips, and give a final stir. Cook in microwave 40-60 seconds, start checking for doneness at 40 seconds. Mine takes 50 seconds.  Serve warm.

created by Melissa at No. 2 Pencil  
http://www.number-2-pencil.com/2012/03/chocolate-chip-cookie-in-cup.html

Love Interests

I am currently without a committed romantic relationship and there are many guys out there who I consider as a possible future partner.  There are many things that attract me to these men and once I have showed interest in one or solidified a connection with him by sharing my phone number or making a date, for example, it is hard to get the special someone off of my mind.  It can be very frustrating when the reality does not live up to my expectations and it is challenging to keep faith in the original chemistry I felt when things seem to be moving slow.

I am old-fashioned in that I believe it is a man's job to make the first couple of dates.  I believe a true gentleman should ask the woman he is interested in to dinner, follow up with the plan to ensure it takes place, and treat his lady for the night.  When something in this pattern falls out of line or it does not happen on the timeline that I expect (within a week or two), I immediately assume I did something wrong to turn him away.  It is important, however, to remain secure with my actions and trust that he felt like he could not live up to my standards or he really just does not know how to treat a lady and, in that case, does not live up to my standards.  In both of these cases, I must choose to either let him go or to give up my expectations and make something happen in my own way,  like by asking him to go to dinner instead of waiting for him to take the initiative.  Simply having trust in myself and my standards, however, will ensure that the right one finds me and shows that he wants to keep me.

There are always more great available guys looking for great available gals.  People who are in love always say "when the right one comes along, you just know".  Thus, if a love interest does not feel right, it probably isn't.  It is best to let it go as soon as possible and move on, for it is more likely that I will find the right guy if I am open to a new love rather than if I am down because I am so focused on what an old one didn't like about me.

"Look Into My Eyes"

I love the beat of this song but the lyrics are so powerful, as well.  It's a great reminder of one of the simplest things you can do and how much it can tell you about somebody or even yourself.  "Eyes are the windows to the soul" so look into them deeply and as often as you can.  You will see what is going on inside of yourself, your friends, and the one you love the most by reading eyes.  See the change when you discuss a subject, do something without words, or just think intimately.  They react subconsciously and do not lie.  Therefore, always be sure to tell the truth and go about life with a kind soul so that others will see this when they look into your eyes.

Commitment

Sometimes I think that committing to a decision is hard.  But really, the difficulty of a decision depends on the amount of change the decision will generate in my life.  Picking out what to order as an entree at dinner will affect how I feel for the next few hours and can make a difference in my weight if I indulge a little too much (or too little).  These are things that are important to me, but I make these decisions daily and have gotten pretty good at knowing which ones make me feel good and which I feel less confident about or regret afterwards.

Then, there are decisions like what to get tattooed onto my body.  This decision will be with me for the rest of my life and is public for anyone who notices to recognize and judge.  With such a big decision comes fear that in 50 years, I will not feel the love that I feel for it in this moment.  There is also fear that people I love will love me less because of it.  In the end, though, this is a choice that I made and must live with.  Because I love it, the people who truly love me will love that it makes me happy.  I must be secure in my relationships to trust the opinions of the people I love and to care what they think but I also must be secure enough with myself to ensure that nobody can change the way I feel about something that only affects my life and body.

Another commitment that can be scary is a romantic one in which love and official "titles" are involved.  Heartbreak and betrayal are the worst feelings I have ever experienced and both of these are possible outcomes of committing to love another person.  I know that I can always leave this person if I become unhappy, but it is scary to be vulnerable to them, for they have the ability to break my heart if I am happy and they leave me or find someone else to be happier with.  Every relationship, even those that are contracted in marriage, can be hurtful, but this pain is something I am willing to risk if it means I can be happy at the current time.  Having learned to be happy by myself gives me the comfort that I can be happy with someone but will also be able to remain happy without them if either one of us chooses to end the relationship.

It is always better to share happiness and have someone share theirs with me.  Therefore, I am committing to being open to commitment.  I do not want to rush into a commitment nor do I want to force one that doesn't feel right; but I also do not want to turn down an opportunity that could lead to something amazing.  Other than a tattoo, every thing else in life should be decided based on what feels right in the moment.  If my favorite food sounds terrible one day, I don't have to eat it just because I already made a commitment that I love that food.  If a relationship becomes stale or causes frustration and stress, I can try to fix it; but I must be willing to go back to being happy on my own if the other person in the relationship does not put in the same effort as I do.  At the same time, though, I must have faith in every decision I make and hope for the best in every relationship I form.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." ~Hebrews 6:19

HOW TO: Be Happy

Bringing happiness into my heart starts in my eyes, moves down my cheeks, and shows itself by my smile.  When I envision things, people, words, and moments that I love, my heart tingles and my eyes light up and force my cheeks to push out.  I can't get this feeling thinking about anything negative, annoying, weird, or stupid.  I really only feel this way when I am living out a dream or goal and being aware of myself in the moment.  It makes me feel good to share these things.  I can express myself through the things I do and the words I write, but I can also express myself through my features and the way I hold myself.  The way I carry my head, the way my hips sway, and the straightness of my posture affect the way I feel and the way the world understands my feelings.

Love is strong and the reason for keeping everything in alignment is to feel good so the world will know it and will let me feel their love, in return.  The point of being happy is to attract people who are also happy, and together, we can be happier than either one of us could be by ourselves.  It is such an exciting feeling that I never want to go away, but if it does slip out of my consciousness for a time, I know the way to get it back is to focus on what makes me feel the best.  Putting good food into my body, stretching and getting the sore areas massaged away, and surrounding myself with people that respect me and my values are so important, regardless of where I am and what I look like.  As long as my body and relationships are strong and healthy, there is beauty shining from the inside out.  Anyone who wants to look can see it in plain view.  My goal is to show my happiness to everyone and the ones who are happy will stick with me and the ones who want to be happy will seek me.  Those who are not and do not want or try to be happy are people who I do not wish to be around and they will be the ones who are turned off and annoyed by my happiness.  I will not change for them just as I do not expect them to change for me.  Everything that happens to us is created internally.  The best thing to do is to focus on creating happy everything—moments, people, situations, etc. and then once found, keep them going.

Best of luck :)

Patience

Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

As much as I wish I could develop a dream and watch it happen instantaneously, waiting for my dreams to be made real is what life is all about.  Keeping on the track that will lead me toward my dreams is the most difficult part, but it is all worth it when something magical happens.  Sometimes, it feels easier to just give up and move on to something else, but being patient is what ultimately brings the best feelings.  The most exciting dream I have is to fall and stay in love.  But even the bible says, "Love is patient" (1 Corinthians 13:4).  I do not want to rush the plan God has for me and the vision I have for myself.  I am living happily in a dream that I had in the past, so as long as I know my desires and I have begun to put them into action, I must just sit back and wait.  In the meantime, I must keep living the dream I have made for myself and have faith that my wishes for the future will come true when the time is right.  The best way, I find, to forget about what isn't happening is to focus on what is.  So get busy and keep dreaming!

Words I Love

This quote reminds me to let the world see the real me, for this is the part of me that is worth loving. 

Relax

Sometimes, I feel like I need to spend a week just relaxing so my body and mind can catch up with the business of my life.  Spending time with family and friends, doing activities like yoga, hiking, and swimming, and just letting myself be without any worries distracting me from recharging can give me a renewed sense of balance that allows me to keep moving forward into new chapters or even just onto the next page of my life.  After becoming fully relaxed, a time comes when I begin to reflect on my future goals and make plans that will ensure I achieve my desires.  I am lucky to be a student on summer vacation with time for all of this and to have a lovely summer home that is the perfect place to forget the world and focus on myself.  I am so thankful for all that I have been given and I am proud of all that I have accomplished.  I want to ensure that I always have this feeling, so I plan to journal into the evening and for the next week until I am set on what I want.  I am ready to go for it and make all of my dreams come true, I just want to make sure I have a clear vision of what they are first.

Sweet dreams!

Attracting Things I Want

I have heard many ways of going about getting what I want, but here is what I have found works best.  Implementing plans are essential, but timing is crucial.  Plans often tend to have an expected outcome; but, we must first be able to feel when the time is right to implement the plan in order to ensure that the expected outcome will be the result.  Also, it is essential to keep a picture of the desired outcome in our minds before we carry out the plan, while we are executing it, and after the plan is implemented.  We must never lose faith in the outcome (that is, unless it explicitly fails because of some unforeseen external force).  For example, buying tickets to a concert and planning to go with a crush can be very exciting for weeks leading up to the event.  However, in the event that said crush's grandma gets sick, has to go to the hospital, and get surgery, there is clearly an external force signaling that the time is not right for us to go on this date.  Without losing faith that the show would still be great fun, though, it is possible to have an even better time than expected and to meet a person that may end up being better for me than my original date.  I cannot say with absolute certainty that either guy is right for me in the long-run, but I do know that I had fun in the short-run because of my long-run goal that I created before the concert in which I envisioned having tons of fun.  If I always keep the future in my mind while I enjoy the present, there will be many more presents to come in my future.

Just think about what it is that you want and then wait for it to happen.  You will know when the right time has come, and you will be happy about the results of experiences in your life.

Tragedy

It shakes up our feelings when things seem perfect one night before you go to sleep and when you wake up, the world has been changed by a horrific tragedy of mankind.  We are all aware of national tragedies, thanks to the dominance of social and news media combining to make a sphere in which most people in our community participate.  Knowledge is power, but hearing about real devastation that is going on in the world can  make me want to completely give up control and hide, like evil wants us to do.  But during times when we have all just witnessed the tragedy of evil taking over man, it is heart wrenching.  I can truly imagine being in the midst of high-death tragedies myself, due to my close proximity to several tragedies in the past.  When a tragedy occurs, it is important to face it immediately and reevaluate the things that we all choose to live for.  Living to be happy and to love others is a common goal shared by the masses.  Although few, there are people out in this world who live to kill.  It is incomprehensible to people like me and you, but when they show themselves by carrying out their plots of killing the masses, we must not fear these creatures.  Instead, we must contain them and ensure that our generation does not let such people go unnoticed for the future generations that follow.  We must learn from history, and today is another moment in history that we must face immediately and learn from in order to prevent other innocent people from falling victim to those who have a mistaken view of life and their purpose on this earth.

May those twelve killed in the Aurora, Colorado movie theater during the Dark Knight Rises movie premier on this day, Friday, July 20, 2012, rest in peace and may the families of the victims continue to live in peace and happiness while never forgetting the loved ones they lost on this day.


God bless.

"Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Knight."

Motivate with Dreams

The dream each of us has for ourselves is incredibly important, for that dream is what shapes our presents.  While it is important to enjoy the dream we are currently living, we must not lose sight of our ultimate purpose.  It is what leads us when we are lost and what motivates us to get up and live each day to its fullest.  In order to reach a dream, we must set smaller goals.  Accomplishing each small goal brings feelings of achievement which make us feel successful and happy because we are one step closer to our dream.  Dreading any step that brings us closer toward living our dreams is like denying that there will be hardships along the path of life.  We can still remain happy people through these hardships as long as we remember that they are necessary in order to get to a better place in our lives.  Most importantly, never give up on a dream because it seems too big.  Anything can happen to anyone who wants it and works to reach it.  Whether shooting to go to the moon or aiming to understand basic human connections, all of us have dreams that we can make happen so long as we create the journey that will get us there.

~sweet dreams~

P.S. I'm obssessed with...

Round sunglasses : classic, cute and a touch of hippie all in one, faded lenses and brown rims go with everything so you can make them more laid back for casual outfits, dressed up for the evening, and cute at the pool.  Both big and small frames are sure to be sexy and chic in any circumstance or any city...even on your man.  Happy travels pretty people!

Following Passion

Passion is one of those abstract concepts that we learn about as children but don't truly know until we get older.  There are so many things I am passionate about and I want to be sure never to lose any of this passion.  Yes, one day I will have to choose one to focus on and pursue in order to make a living, but it is important to keep everything I am passionate about in my life.  From eclectic coffee mugs to art and music to reading, writing, or even long walks in a beautiful place, there are so many things in this world that fill me with passion.  Blogging has become a passion because my blog is a place where I can release my feelings to the world, without anyone having to see unless they happen to find me.  I love sharing the things I have learned through my experience and I hope that one day people find me when in an abstract place of not knowing what to do.  I even go back and read my posts when I am in need of some inspiration.  Living happily seems to be everybody's goal and yet so many people find it so difficult.  I was like this for so long but have come through and found what I want in this life.  People, places, and activities that I love have come into my life either by chance or by choice, but the ones I love are still here.  I want to keep following these passions as long as I live, for they are what give meaning to my legacy and happiness to my life.

Be Love to Find It

Sometimes I feel like I am going on a mission, setting out to find love.  The actual realization of love, however, manifests itself when I am not thinking about finding love but am, in fact, showing love myself.  Love is what I am, it's what made me, and it's what will bring meaning to my life.  Every experience I have and every person I encounter is the result of the decisions I've made in the past and the goals I have for the future.  For example, if I have recently given a part of me to someone else and I continue to have the goal of giving, I will unexpectedly receive things from others that make me happier.  In order to receive, however, I must understand the feeling of giving so that I can genuinely respond to everything I receive.  Giving itself is a happy experience, so essentially, having a goal of happiness is manifested by the act and value of giving out of a place of happiness.  I like to constantly remind myself of the love and happiness I want so that I remember to show love and give to others first.

Closure before a New Chapter

As I lay down in my bed tonight, I get a rush of emotion, memories bursting through my mind.  This is the last night I am sleeping in my current apartment and, my, what a crazy year in this room it has been.  I have gone through the worst times of my life, but I got through them and turned into a better person.  I started here in a horrible place and let myself get more miserable.  I have cried harder than I have in years in this bed and if this ceiling could talk, my would it have some ridiculous stories.  It is impossible to forget these things...they were the beginning of my twenties and I am thankful for everything I have learned in this spot.

Goodnight&& sweet dreams...

Changes

Oftentimes, I find that changing my permanent location puts me into a completely different state of mind.  This can be a very good thing when I am leaving behind a place that brings negative memories to mind.  The state of bliss I am in from being in my new place lingers and I feel like a new person even when I go back to the place of negativity.  I love the hope that I have for the future and the unknown memories that I am certain to experience.  There will be happiness, love, and friendship in a new place that never existed where I was.  Moving is a new beginning in every part of my life and it reminds me of the me that is living for a purpose.  Everything happens to get me to the next part of the plan, so I look forward to what is in store for me!

Knowing and Loving the things that make up Me

Today I did my own thing.  I didn't make any plans with friends and I didn't follow a schedule.  I was spontaneous in doing the things I felt like doing and I feel satisfied with everything I did.  The food I made was delicious, the book I read was fabulous and has been on my list for a while, and the chores I accomplished were necessary so I was happy to do them.  I know I am going to have a busy couple of weeks coming up, and today, I feel like I got in tune with myself.  I do what I want to do in order to make my life better.  It is important to know what needs to be done and to be aware that I am accomplishing the necessary things.  It is also important to keep time open so I can express my freedom and instincts.  Eventually, my instincts are to do what needs to be done; however, on a Saturday like today, I followed my instincts and ended up reading Truman Capote's "Breakfast at Tiffany's" on the couch until 11 pm.  This is the person I am and the person I want to be sometimes.  I love that I know this about myself and am not ashamed of wanting to spend a Saturday night reading.  I would love to have company during times like this, but for now, I can be happy with myself.

love Lost can be Found again

Being happy for the people that have left me was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.  When someone you love no longer loves you, you have to let them go.  But in addition, you have to be able to talk to, see, and think about that person without feeling bitter.  Honestly, I think time apart is the best way to accomplish this.  I have literally had to remove myself from all situations in which I could encounter these people.  Being apart has made me realize that I do not regret anything I did or felt for anyone, but that I do not need them to live a happy life.  New people are just around the corner and if I want to find love in them, I must let go of the love I felt for the others.  The past has passed and I have moved on just as much as my old loves have, even though I have not found someone special to move on with.  I think this is the result of keeping feelings of hope in ended relationships when I should have just moved forward with all of my love into the next object of my affection.

This realization makes me feel more lovable, even though I definitely feel vulnerable since all of my love is back in me and not relying on others.  I have come to understand that if I want to be happy, I need to do it for myself, not to make others jealous so they want me back.  Now that I am happy with myself and I know how much love I have to give, I need to be patient and wait for God to bring somebody who is worthy of all of my love into my life.

This is what my life is about.

Finding beauty is one of the easiest things, but it can be challenging to remember to look for it.  Spending time making my space beautiful, working out and maintaining my body to feel beautiful, surrounding myself with people who are beautiful from the inside out, and rewarding myself with beautiful things are ingredients that make a life beautiful.  We all do these things subconsciously; we brush our teeth when we wake up and decorate our rooms with things that remind us of the things that make us happy because our life is better this way.  There come moments when I just think, I need to make my life better and I start by cleaning up everything in my life and enjoying the beauty that is in everything that surrounds me.  I can talk to whoever I want at the touch of a button, be inspired in a click, and find love in listening to certain songs over and over.  This freedom is so overwhelming at times because I can lose track of my goals.  The trick is to figure out what I have to do each day, organize my time so I can do everything I need to, and let go of my worries when I know I don't need to have them.

Finding security in decisions is a practiced skill.  I must have faith in my past and future self to trust that I will be woken up by when I need to be up and that everything essential will be taken care of.  With this trust, I can focus on what needs to be done in the present moment.  Some days, the things that need to be done include seemingly unimportant passtimes in my ultimate goals of life.  Finding new music, keeping up with my Google Reader, and flipping through pages on my Nook may seem like a waste of time when I have "more important" things to do, like write an essay and edit poems.  I know myself, though, and I know that in the grand scheme of my life, I am doing what I need to do.  I am in school, attending class, fulfilling assignments, and working on the side.  How I pass each hour in the day is up to me.  I have arranged it the way I like so that my free hours are at times when I can really feel free.  Having free time requires that I make it free, just as I can easily make it full.  I love when I can find the perfect balance between feeling exhausted from being so busy and feeling too bored from not having enough plans.  Planning life is very important; but because plans can change from day to day and hour to hour, it is important to recognize when I am doing what I want and when I have gotten off track.

I have made my plan for life a beautiful one.  I have dreams of beautiful apartments in New York City, homes in the country, and fabulous people to spend time in all these different places with.  I want my life with my family to be lovely, and I hope to make a successful business doing what I love.  My friends have been selected, my journey planned, and I am happy.

Indulging

I find that one of the most pleasurable things to do in life is to knowingly indulge in something I love.  Whether it's a tasty treat, shopping for something I don't need, blasting a song, or spending a free morning by myself, I feel an excitement when I indulge that pushes me to keep working and creating an even better future for myself.  Without these moments of indulging in my favorite things, there would be no point to all of my hard work and effort.  The feeling of pleasure I get when I treat myself to something I love is so satisfying and rewarding that I am willing and excited about working afterwards for my next moment of indulging.

Indulging is not about making bad, unhealthy, or stupid decisions, although they may sound that way.  It is simply about making a choice that makes me happy.  Ideally, I want every decision I make to be one that makes me happy; but sometimes, I consider it bad to do things that make me happy, like eat dessert for breakfast every morning.  In the movie Original Sin, Angelina Jolie's character asks the question "can pleasure ever be a sin?".  As I think about this question, I find myself wanting to follow the good feelings that pleasure brings about because, ultimately, good feelings lead to a happy life.  I simply have to come to know what pleases me, ensure that my pleasures will not give me a bad conscience, and move forward in life doing the things that please me the most.

Not everyone has the same pleasures, so some may value different things more than others, but one's taste is their taste.  Only that individual can decide whether something is good for their taste or bad for it.  You can describe why you love something more vividly as you experience more of it, but when you don't like something, there is no more experience of it and you can't describe what you don't necessarily like about it.  But that is the best part of life.  You just have to feel what makes you happiest and work hard in order to get the pleasure to indulge in your happiness.  These are often the great memories, but can also be the simple pleasures of life, such as a morning with just Vogue and coffee.  I love to indulge and I will never give up this essential aspect of life.

New York State Of Mind

This song just makes me so happy. I always feel in a much different state of mind when I'm in New York...a lovely feeling of community, history, and everything I could ever want within footsteps. I love being in different places, too, but it's nice to have songs like this that can almost take me back to that feeling of being in New York that I love so much when I can't physically be there in the near future.

My Soul is Full

I love listening to soul music, reading about soulful things, and expressing my soul.  I feel like my life is a continuous attempt to experience the world, and the only way to make sense of everything that happens is to express the things I feel deeply about.  At some moments, that expression comes in buying one kind of cheese over another or choosing which pair of sunglasses to wear, and sometimes, it takes a writing in my journal to understand what I want and to recenter myself.  Every experience has the potential to be an obstacle in my life if I do not accept it and adjust to its effects.  After time, obstacles can begin to feel like routines.  But routines can be the most pleasurable adventures.  I can get excited with every decision I make and be happy about the benefits each choice brings to my life.  Even if everything is not perfect, if I make each moment special, I can feel good in my days.  If I have served a purpose on this planet or changed something for the improvement of the future, I feel valuable.

I indulge in the pleasures of life so that I can continue to participate in it, for without the experience of pleasure, I would not work so hard to get more of it.  I will never have everything I want because, then, I would stop wanting things.  I never want to lose that feeling of excitement when I find something I want.  It's even more exciting when, after I put in the effort, am able to experience for myself the thing I had found and had to get.  This is the creation of a life.  Letting myself indulge in the things I work so hard to make a part of my life inspires me to keep working, keep creating, and keep the cycles of life in perpetual progression.  I am thankful for everyone and everything that I experience on a daily basis and I am thankful for having the time to relish in the satisfied spirit that fills my soul.

Creative Cooking

Finding inspiration in the kitchen usually starts with the ingredients I have on hand.  I keep staples, such as cereal and oatmeal, peanut butter, and salad or smoothie goodies, at all times, but I'd like to switch up my routine and get creative with cooking.  The first step is to find recipes that excite my taste buds so that I can be sure to buy everything I need for when the time comes that I'm craving a certain something.  Before going to the store, I will simply go through my collection of fantasy meals and get what I think I need to recreate them in ways that best suit my preferences.  Cooking takes creativity, patience, and attention to taste, but it is all worth it when I end up with amazing recipes that I can continue to make and adjust forever.

Serendipity

The sailboat I spent hours maneuvering,

Always trying to beat the best.

A day with best friends and ice cream

Is a sweet memory of the city.

A girl slams her door and opens it

To find that her new world is even better.

Ending up in a new place with people

And love you never thought existed.

The feeling of home

In a song on the radio.

It makes me want to dance spontaneously

Forever—fate cannot be designed.

Something on the side of the road

That gives me a chance to smile.

A person whose love has been brought

Into my awareness like none other before it.

It comes and goes as often as I choose

To accept its gifts and thank it’s rewards.

Gratitude

There are so many things to be thankful for each and every day...but sometimes I am most thankful when I simply remember to feel gratitude.  It seems like time goes by and I forget to recognize all of the amazing things I have brought into my life and, instead, find myself focusing on things I don't have.  Rather than missing my friends, I am grateful that I have the ability to talk to them and see their faces or even just their words.  Some things these days feel like such staples in my life and I start to expect them.  The more I am grateful for them, however, the less "stapled" my life will feel and the more exciting it will be.  If I bring something or someone into my life, it's because I think they will increase my happiness.  When this happens, I want to enjoy the happiness I feel from the existence of this new thing in my life. 

I would love to be able to still be happy about everything I have, for at one time this thing became important and has remained important.  Maybe it's time to reevaluate the things that are most important to me and get rid of things that are unimportant, for they are just clutter in my life.  Ultimately, if I can look around and be happy with where I am in my life, both physically and abstractly in my relationships and career, I can rest easy and wake up feeling ready to take the next step along my path.

I am grateful to say goodnight to this day.

Let downs

At times, there come moments when your reality does not meet your expectations.  I am my reality, and therefore, I become disappointed in myself when I have let somebody down.  Being let down by somebody is a feeling of loss, frustration, and annoyance that affects your future with that person.  I would never intend to let somebody down by agreeing to do something, however, committing to things that are less important to me but very important to someone I care about can seem like no big deal to me but seem like a very big deal to them. 

In these times, the best thing to do is communicate my fear that they are upset so that I have the opportunity to apologize for hurting their feelings and they have the opportunity to forgive me and move on.  Taking ownership for letting someone down is an important part of life and essential for any relationship to last.

I try to be thankful in these moments of shame when I experience what it feels like to be truly sorry for something so that I learn to be more careful in what I commit to and what I cancel in the future.  Guilt is a terrible feeling because the longer I stay guilty, the longer someone else stays hurt.  I want to ask for forgiveness from everyone I care about so that we can all be happier.

Peace&love

Saturday Mornings Are the Best

Can you think of a more pleasant thing to do than read a Vogue with a cup of coffee?  I couldn't.  So I did.  I thought about the amazing glamour that I was witnessing and actually experiencing through my participation in its purpose.  However, I want to actually be able to wear pieces I see, not just look at others wearing them.  I envision myself in the things I love.  My vision of myself is of being that girl who is happy, beautiful, seductive, and has love in her eyes.  She wears beautiful clothing that is expensive and which can only be bought by those with the finest taste. She is inspired by the influence of advertisements, which are also rather artistic.  The book becomes my bible.

We must see and feel how we want to be before we can become it.

New Routine, New Priorities

Lately, the craziness of my life has been turning my days into long periods of production, just to wake up the next day and find that I have just as much, if not more, to do than the last.  This business is turning into a routine...making me feel as alive, but also as exhausted as ever.  There are some things that may seem unnecessary considering the list I am trying to complete each day, but they are necessary for me in order to produce good work and be satisfied with my life.  Staying clean and healthy are the most important things to me.  I always make time to bathe, eat, and I try to do yoga, cardio, or weight training 4-5 times per week.  I also love to keep up with my favorite shows, and I usually manage at least five hours of rest each night.

I start each day by getting my life on its track—this means checking emails and text messages to make sure I am up to date on everything people have sent and want me to see, going over my calendar and day planner to set up a mental plan for the day, and getting my morning cup of coffee and some sort of nutritious breakfast.  Then, once I am comfortable with the course I'm on, I allow myself to incorporate more things of interest to fill the time.  I am constantly adding priorities, acquiring hobbies, and stretching my capability while praying that everything will get done in the time I have each day.  When time is of utmost demand, however, I must be extra careful to not lose sight of my priorities.  Sometimes, I feel like I have to sprint through things that I should be walking through in order to enjoy the experience and take it all in.  [I want to read the book, but I need about 5 hours to read it the way I want to and I just don't know where to find 5 hours right now.]  I have learned to multitask and combine the things I want to do, such as spending my time on the elliptical reading books for pleasure on my Nook and jamming out to my recent music downloads.

I look forward to a day when I can focus my attention on one thing fully, commit myself to it, and make something amazing.  For now, I will continue to accomplish as much as I can, knowing that I did the best I could.

Just got to get over the hump of each day...Friday is always the prize!

A Little Romance for the Ears

I love listening to jazz in the evenings.  I believe this habit started during a semester in college when I attended a jazz class every Tuesday and Thursday at 5 o'clock.  The tunes easily flow through the back of my head and instantly relax my thoughts.  I also get in the romantic mood when I hear the free moving fingers of the musicians on their instruments. From the the horn of the sax to pounds on the piano, something about jazz is so magical!

Getting Outdoors

Oftentimes, the best way to get my mind out of a box and my routine out of a rut includes getting my body outside into the freshness of nature. Whether it's changing into a white ensemble and jumping into a cool sweat with my tennis racket and the easy conversation between old friends or throwing on a tshirt and headphones to go walk around in nature, exercise soothes my mind. Plus, an added perk is extra energy and a slim body!

Glamour

A perfect world is one in which glamour consistently plays a part, so keeping life's everlasting beauty is an ambition of mine. Accordingly, I approach the subject of style with the same definitive view. In principal, I retain a classic style as the canvas to my wardrobe. This allows me to add chic and trendy pieces that give each look a flavor of my style and transform my wardrobe throughout the seasons. By keeping an underlying elegance, however, I remain confident in the quality of every outfit, for I know that the basic staples in which I have invested will withstand any criticism. The fun comes when I allow my creativity to go to the edge and try something out of the ordinary. I never force myself to stay on trend in my purchases or in my styling, though. Rather, I trust my taste to find pieces that will give me greater poise. Continually editing my accessories so that specific highlights really stand out helps me to focus each look. Every single item adds detail and pizazz to my wardrobe and boosts the edginess of my character in the eyes of the world. However, I never leave the house if I feel like I have hidden the beauty of simple glamour, for it is best to tell the world too little than too much.