The summer of 2014 is almost a memory, and as I sit down to reflect on the lessons that I have learned about living in "the real world," I feel complete gratitude for the transformation that I have undergone over the past 10 weeks. It all started after I graduated from college and moved home to rural New Jersey. Living with my family again, working in Florida for several weeks, spending time with my grandparents who are another year closer to the end of their lives, letting go of unhealthy relationships, taking a vacation to the beach in Rhode Island, continuing to spend time at Lake George—all of these experiences have given me opportunities to grow closer to the people I love and to appreciate the beauty in the world that I had forgotten to simply enjoy.
It occurred to me that in order to move on with the life I had into a new life that I love even more, I needed to do a little soul searching. What I found deep down was that I was scared. Fear is a natural part of the emotional realm that humans experience, and without fear, most of us would likely be dead. Fears develop as a defense mechanism to change our behavior, preventing us from doing things that could hurt or kill. Oftentimes, we develop fears of emotions because we have had our feelings hurt in the past and that experience caused us to suffer. I, for example, have been terrified to open my heart and love. This fear of feeling the emotion of love with a man is the result of being emotionally abandoned by my father. My fear of being hurt caused me to build walls around my heart that served as shields to the love that was being given to me and preventing me from openly giving my love.
Ultimately, however, observing my fear and understanding it completely has taken me out of the fear. When I can view it from the outside, it is no longer the force that drives my thoughts and choices. Once I got out of my fear, I started to see how much love I have in me. All I want to do now is share my love and find it in others. This has made me an incredibly happy human.
I have realized that being unattached to everything and letting myself just be present in the current moment is the most freeing sensation I have ever felt. It feels like everything I do, everywhere I go, and everyone with whom I interact is showing me that life is meant to be lived in happiness and love; and fears are just a part of life that arise to protect us. Being scared is not the way to live life, so we must not allow our fears to control us. Instead, we are here on this planet to feel what it is like to be alive. There are so many things to be grateful for in this world, and choosing to fester in fear is merely a habit.
I have decided to quit living by my fears; rather, I want to make loving memories that stay in my heart forever.
I absolutely love the natural world, I am crazy in love with these creatures similar to me called human beings, there are interesting animals sharing their lives on this earth with us, and the most amazing thing is when it all comes together to make beautiful moments in time.
It is time for this gal to stop being scared to sink and to simply hold on to the hope that my purpose on this planet is to find love, beauty, and happiness among all of the fear, pain, and suffering that exists.
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
August 17, 2014
November 30, 2012
Lose to Gain
At several times in my life, I felt that I was losing things that I thought belonged to me. I thought that because I had obtained what I wanted temporarily, the presence of this thing would keep manifesting itself in my life and continue to make me happy. After losing things that I thought I would have forever, however, I realized that I have to keep working to gain things but also work to keep the things I have already gained. It is essential to progress in life in order to obtain and keep everything that makes me happy in my life and to ensure that everything I have in my life continues to make me happy.
I never want to feel like I have everything because that is the point when I will stop focusing on my "keeps" and begin noticing everything I lose. Although I lose things all the time, working towards new gains helps me move on and stop missing the stuff that gets lost. To me, life is about winning some of the things you want and trying not to lose the things you have already worked to win.
Gaining both vulnerability and confidence was a huge step in my life because I allowed my mind to search myself for things I have lost and to discover new things about myself. I became okay with opening up into my thoughts and memories, even the darkest ones that I had tried to hide from my mind for years, because I was confident that I could use the things I found buried deep within my heart to help fix whatever it was that kept leading me to lose things that were important to me. It was not until I noticed that I kept losing things, however, that I let myself be vulnerable to change and become confident in the person that had grown out of every thought, feeling, and experience I revisited. I gained a surer sense of the things I wanted to have in my life and I decided what I needed to help me make my place in the world a good one.
Although my dreams often seem unreachable under current circumstances, I make them that way so that I will never feel like I have gained everything. If a day comes when all of my personal dreams have come true or I cannot seem to create a better dream for myself at that moment, I will make my dream to help others reach their dreams. There will always be people with goals they have not reached, so there is always something to work toward in this world.
I never want to feel like I have everything because that is the point when I will stop focusing on my "keeps" and begin noticing everything I lose. Although I lose things all the time, working towards new gains helps me move on and stop missing the stuff that gets lost. To me, life is about winning some of the things you want and trying not to lose the things you have already worked to win.
Gaining both vulnerability and confidence was a huge step in my life because I allowed my mind to search myself for things I have lost and to discover new things about myself. I became okay with opening up into my thoughts and memories, even the darkest ones that I had tried to hide from my mind for years, because I was confident that I could use the things I found buried deep within my heart to help fix whatever it was that kept leading me to lose things that were important to me. It was not until I noticed that I kept losing things, however, that I let myself be vulnerable to change and become confident in the person that had grown out of every thought, feeling, and experience I revisited. I gained a surer sense of the things I wanted to have in my life and I decided what I needed to help me make my place in the world a good one.
Although my dreams often seem unreachable under current circumstances, I make them that way so that I will never feel like I have gained everything. If a day comes when all of my personal dreams have come true or I cannot seem to create a better dream for myself at that moment, I will make my dream to help others reach their dreams. There will always be people with goals they have not reached, so there is always something to work toward in this world.
September 12, 2012
HOW TO: Be Happy
Bringing happiness into my heart starts in my eyes, moves down my cheeks, and shows itself by my smile. When I envision things, people, words, and moments that I love, my heart tingles and my eyes light up and force my cheeks to push out. I can't get this feeling thinking about anything negative, annoying, weird, or stupid. I really only feel this way when I am living out a dream or goal and being aware of myself in the moment. It makes me feel good to share these things. I can express myself through the things I do and the words I write, but I can also express myself through my features and the way I hold myself. The way I carry my head, the way my hips sway, and the straightness of my posture affect the way I feel and the way the world understands my feelings.
Love is strong and the reason for keeping everything in alignment is to feel good so the world will know it and will let me feel their love, in return. The point of being happy is to attract people who are also happy, and together, we can be happier than either one of us could be by ourselves. It is such an exciting feeling that I never want to go away, but if it does slip out of my consciousness for a time, I know the way to get it back is to focus on what makes me feel the best. Putting good food into my body, stretching and getting the sore areas massaged away, and surrounding myself with people that respect me and my values are so important, regardless of where I am and what I look like. As long as my body and relationships are strong and healthy, there is beauty shining from the inside out. Anyone who wants to look can see it in plain view. My goal is to show my happiness to everyone and the ones who are happy will stick with me and the ones who want to be happy will seek me. Those who are not and do not want or try to be happy are people who I do not wish to be around and they will be the ones who are turned off and annoyed by my happiness. I will not change for them just as I do not expect them to change for me. Everything that happens to us is created internally. The best thing to do is to focus on creating happy everything—moments, people, situations, etc. and then once found, keep them going.
Best of luck :)
Love is strong and the reason for keeping everything in alignment is to feel good so the world will know it and will let me feel their love, in return. The point of being happy is to attract people who are also happy, and together, we can be happier than either one of us could be by ourselves. It is such an exciting feeling that I never want to go away, but if it does slip out of my consciousness for a time, I know the way to get it back is to focus on what makes me feel the best. Putting good food into my body, stretching and getting the sore areas massaged away, and surrounding myself with people that respect me and my values are so important, regardless of where I am and what I look like. As long as my body and relationships are strong and healthy, there is beauty shining from the inside out. Anyone who wants to look can see it in plain view. My goal is to show my happiness to everyone and the ones who are happy will stick with me and the ones who want to be happy will seek me. Those who are not and do not want or try to be happy are people who I do not wish to be around and they will be the ones who are turned off and annoyed by my happiness. I will not change for them just as I do not expect them to change for me. Everything that happens to us is created internally. The best thing to do is to focus on creating happy everything—moments, people, situations, etc. and then once found, keep them going.
Best of luck :)
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